Saying YES to LESS
This week has been quite intense for me. Lots of projects being built (including my new course about boundaries so check it out here if you want to find out more :
This also means more stress and greater sense of overwhelm. Yes, it happens to me too. And when it does, well, I know it's time to remove, trim and delegate.
And this is exactly what this week's blog is all about.
The one BIG mistake I see in my clients is that when they try to find more time for themselves or the things they care about, their first instinct is to try to figure out ways to add more while still dealing with what they already have on their plate.
Imagine you are juggling with 5 balls in the air at all times. This requires time, training and focus and chances are, if you look away for a split second, one or several of the balls will fall and roll away. And you will have to start all over again. It's hard enough as it is.
Now, imagine you decide that you want to add a hula hoop to your balancing act because, you know, that's what really makes you happy in life. And the balls, well, not so much anymore.
You know that chances are that this will not be sustainable nor work. Hula hooping and juggling all at the same time is not only exhausting but near impossible for most of us (unless you were part of Cirque du Soleil 🤸🏻♂️🤸🏻before but guess what, they train too...).
So how will you make sure this is going to work?
You will start by removing some of your balls, start small and practice the hula regularly. Mastering the hula fills you with joy, gives you energy. You will go for less in order to do more of the things that matter to you.
In life, it's pretty much the same : we need to do less of the things that drain us and more of the things that matter.
Sounds great Antonia but how, how and how can I possibly do that when I feel that I am the hamster in the wheel???
And this is where the silver lining of our Covid retreats comes in. And what we have learnt from it...
We are almost two years into Covid, stripped from all our activities, privileges, our social life, our work, and pretty much everything. Down to basics, locked in our homes trying to do the same things we did before (work, love and live) but with more restrictions and less space.
And what came out of it was a real eye opener on all those things we did not want anymore, all those people we did not want in our lives any longer and more importantly, what was really essential for us : what we missed that made us whole.
We were forced to remove, so we could see better. And what an incredible gift that is. What did you find out you missed the most ? What do you want more of in your life today?
To say yes to less, you simply have to introduce less.
In other words, you need to REMOVE.
💡Tip time!! Here are a few good places to start when you want to start trimming your calendar:
⏰1-Make a list of all the things that use up your time (an energy) and that you can give up. (this includes time wasters...)
One big one for me are house chores for example. It can be driving your kids to 15 activities they don't need to go to or doing jobs for family members that they can also ask someone else to do...
🛡2-Find at least 2 you can DELEGATE. Yes, DELEGATE. and Outsource. You don't need to do everything!!!
Be honest with yourself on this one : emptying the dishwasher will not make you feel whole. And an 8 year old can do that. Share the drive with another parent for example when it comes to activities. Ask your partner to do more in the house with specific tasks you will no longer do. Remove distractions and time wasters.
Key to winning this one : LET GO. Because more important things are coming your way.
🎉3-Introduce more things that make you happy and bring you joy. Those are essentials. Let me make this clear for you:
A- I remove something that drains me
B- I replace it by something that fills me
C-I do not replace unfulfilling things by more unfulfilling things. Right? I can see you thinking about it....
Remember : less balls versus more hula hoop.
How does that feel to you? Feasible? Daunting? Exciting?
Life is all about growing and sharing happy moments with the people and things we actually care about. It's about filling ourselves with small things that give us so much joy that we can talk about it for hours afterwards.
That's your measure of happiness : how much energy, smiles and talking comes after it.
We owe it ourselves and the ones we love before our time is over.
Everything else is unimportant.
So what will you be doing less of this year?
With love, Antonia
Ps : if you have difficulty with finding time for yourself, maybe you are struggling with boundaries ? Download my free guide right here, to help you get through...