Here we go again. A new year, the beginning of something exciting and the urge to better ourselves.
It's like the clock resetting itself every 12 months and we want to make sure we will not miss the opportunity to jump on this new train full of promises. ⏰
But, if you base yourself on let's say the past 5 or 10 years of your resolutions, how many did you actually succeed in doing ?
Euh....Crickets, right...?
I googgled for fun synonyms of New Year's resolutions because I love exploring new words that shift the way I looked at things. Here is a screen capture of what I got from the Mac Millan Thesaurus (the actual Thesaurus was even gloomier):
Wow.😳 I feel so motivated now ! Cession, sacrifice, abstention, self-denial and giving up. Can't wait to start and fail so I can go back to more fun things...
So what if, instead of changing the resolutions over and over again, we changed the way we perceive time?
I have stopped making resolutions a few years ago. For 2 reasons:
1-My year works better from summer to summer because it matches my chronolgy.
I am a mother so my calendar is geared around my kids and I take a month off every summer which is a time that I use to reflect and reset myself and my business. I give myself the space to think about what worked, what could be improved and why I want to do it (and not should do it). January is just check-in in and reajusting time How can you think straight after drinking and eating too much, rushing to make the holidays enjoyable and overcoming all the anxieties and exhaustion that come with hanging out a little too much with your extended family???
2-The reset button of January is a complete illusion.
Remember the guy in Lost (yes, I know, I know, but I still think it was a great show...) ?
Well every 108 minutes, he presses the same reset button because he is convinced that if he doesn't, the whole island will come to its end.
He can't leave, he is frozen in his responsability and not once does he worry about figuring out a way to outsource, understand or automate this, let alone worry about what his life looks like or where it's going with it. He is trapped in what he perceives as an obligation and what he believes is the reality of time.
We all thought he was crazy but what's the difference with us ??
We pretty much do the same with January although it's just another month of the year...It traps people in the illusion of a time constraint and a needed reset when actually it's AN ON GOING PROCESS.
There is no stop and restart. Every day you can do one small thing to get closer to where you want.
💡So how can you change your habits ?
1- Focus on 1 specific goal you want for yourself. Just one, which will be the focus of the year. The most common one is often exercising more or eating better, for example. But that is not specific enough. Go deeper and give it more details. Do you want to run once a week ? Twice ? Do you want to cook more for yourself ? Eat more greens ? Cut the portions ? Write down exactly what you mean by that and see what it would look like during the week. How are you going to make it work ?
2-Then, when you get up in the morning, ask yourself what is the one small thing I will be doing TODAY to get closer to that goal ? Focus your first thought on that and make it your non negotiable of the day. EVERY DAY
3-Share your victory with someone you love, an accountability partner or with yourself by journaling or taking notes of your achievement on your phone. You could even have a board with colourful post its and stick it on a wall so it's visual and envigorating!!
(You can even send me some pictures or share with me at (antonia@antoniamedeiros.com )
Forget the years or the months. Every day is a new begining, a new opportunity to put yourself first and try to be a better human being.